Love etc etc

When you have been single too long and you start thinking it's high time you get into a relationship, at least to have a taste of what it feels like to be in one (this is for people like me!), you can't help thinking of every new guy that comes your way (but of course provided that he's cute/smart enough!)  as the prospective "man" in your life. you fall in love with every second person. at least you think you do! in your mind, thoughts keeps running. "Maybe he is the one. Maybe this time it's different. Maybe things will work out this time. Maybe... " your heart builds up all sorts of hope. it dreams and dreams big. the mind lets the heart go wild; fill itself with hopes and dreams of love. you let yourself be as stupid as can be. you let yourself do things you wouldn't normally. you think everything's gonna fall into place. you think everything's gonna be great. But then.. wham!! something hits you!! suddenly you realize that maybe he's not the one for you. maybe things will never work out between you two. maybe you are not meant for him and he not for you. you mourn the loss. you rant a bit. and then on you move. and not many days later, you run into someone new and he's now the one for you and yet he won't be the one. he's not meant to be yours.
the cycle repeats; of love and heartbreak.and thus the story goes.
but someday, out of the blue, something happens. you realize you've been a fool too long. you realize it's not worth it. and you are happy the way you are. you feel so fine and light. there's not a worry in your mind. you feel good. you feel so free. and you wish you would always feel that way. because you won't have it any other way.

p.s. this post comes "direct dil se". :).

North South Whatever

Well we all know how this South Indian girl's(or should I say Madrasan?) 'Open letter to a Delhi boy' has been causing ripples, nay waves, for the last two days or so. And how it has started this North vs South debate. And the very predictable pointing of fingers and accusations and counter-accusations and the 'They discriminate us' sort of thing. Ah well who am I to gatecrash the party. But then I got things to say. And this is my blog, FYI.
I belong neither to the North nor to the South. I come from that part of the country which many people think is a different country, as foreign as China or Japan. I don't know where I fit in this North-South debate. (By the way what do the East and West do ? Jump into the North vs South ring or form it's very own East vs West fight? )  And I won't be pointing fingers either. My mind is bubbling with thoughts waiting to tumble out though. So here they go.

For one, the wrongest and the commonest crime we commit is to 'generalize' people. Everyone falls prey to this. Including yours truly, of course.
We generalize people based on every factor we can come up with(geographical and religious, mostly) and form our own contorted views and perceptions and conclusions and what not and then go out of our way to hate them or love them. In most cases, hate. Don't we know that whether a person is good or bad or loud or sober or stingy or extravagant or whatever it may be does not depend on which part of the country he/she comes from or how he/she looks, dark or fair?? If you don't, then you are the most pitiful person i can think of!
I have South Indian friends. I have North Indian friends. I have Muslim friends. I have Christian friends. I think most of us do. Does it matter where a person is from for him/her to become your friend? All that takes is a certain matching of frequency (as they say) and chance.
And say, you are a North Indian and your sister marries a South Indian guy, would you hate your brother-in-law and your sister's kids because they are South Indians? Sounds ridiculous right? Because it is!
You don't just hate a person because he/she happens to belong to a certain region or religion or looks different.

Having said that, I think at some point of time, we have both fallen to generalizing people and being generalized. I must have done it at times. I am sure. But as things usually go, we tend to forget the bad we do to people. But remember the same bad people do to us. We crib about the wrong being done to us but don't consider the wrong we might be doing. So maybe it's just a matter of tit-for-tat going around.

No one expects me to have a solution, of course. But all i can say is that if we just try to bring down our generalizations, learn a bit of tolerance, bring in a bit of sensitivity to other people's feelings, the world will defintely be a better place to live in.

take it easy!

One month-old here in Deloitte. And I have learned a lot. Training’s over for the time being.  But got a lot more to learn. We have been pushed to set our goals for the year coming. But wait a minute. What goals?? What is it they are talking about? I scratch my head as I try to think. I am confused like most of my friends. Can anyone be so clear about what they want so early? How do I set my goals? I am not even sure of what I want. I am not even sure of what I am supposed to be doing the whole year! And when we aren’t even sure of what goals to set, they want SMART goals or so it seems. Am I the only one who feels this way? I am already apprehensive about the future.  I know this shouldn’t be the way. The way is to be merry and happy.  But I can’t help but feel a little tense.  Where do I stand? And where will I be a year from now? Will my peers move ahead while I stand here frozen? But isn’t it a little too early to worry?  Why am I panicking? There ‘s  still time for the race to the top. It’s been just a month, for god’s sake!  There’s no need to be pulling my hair crazy! Things will be okay. They always turn out fine. Worrying never made anything better!  So I better stop all the worrying and give myself a kick if I do. Anyway no one’s getting a promotion in the first two years!  Rest assured.  So I better  look forward to my first salary and the joining bonus due this Friday(hopefully). Come on. Bring it on! I know exactly what I am gonna do with all the cash! :D

choked!

Never in my life have i used such slow internet as i am using now! it takes forever to open a webpage. aur Twitter to bhul hi jao. and for someone whose life's purpose is to tweet, this is torture of the highest degree! Twitter, for me, is the place where my feelings and emotions of the moment find expression. and to be cut-off from such a place is nothing less than being choked. this may sound a little exaggerated but i do feel choked; like i have to swallow my emotions back!
the internet speed is not getting better anytime soon. and until i leave for hyderabad and get a better net speed, i will have to lead this choked life.or maybe i will have to look for an alternate way of expression. maybe i will have to blog and blog. and see i have broken my exile from blogger.com with this post! so hello fellow bloggers, i am announcing my return to blogging!! nice to be back!

fly by quickly

the first two months of the last semester of college have gone just like that, without my even realizing it. two months remain. and i am wishing they would pass just as soon. unnoticed.
instead of wishing for time to stall or time to move at a slow pace, i am wishing it to run as fast as can be. i do not wish for an extra day here. i wish for the least number of days to stay.
i have had a great time here. i have made friends and had all the fun i could. i have done things i never thought i would. i have had my share of joys. and sorrows too. i have cried but i have laughed more. i have had the time of my life. but right now i seem to have had enough of this place. i am getting sick of it. i no longer want to stay. i want to run somewhere far away.
some people i will truly miss. but most i won't even care. some places i will miss going to. but there will always be new places to go. i will miss staying up all night, sleeping all day. but i won't really mind.
when the time comes for me to leave for real, i might get a little sentimental and shed a tear or two. but that's all i will do. i will indulge in no drama. i will leave as quietly as i came.
i am praying for these two months to pass by quickly and for me to bid this place goodbye!

when you are broke!

what not to do this month:

1. buying clothes/anything
2. eating out
3. going out


(p.s this is what happens when you go broke two straight months in a row!
God be with me!)

what lies ahead

2011
i am already apprehensive about what lies ahead.
placements. job. work.
life after college.
going to work everyday (if at all i get a call letter from "Headstrong"!! ).
moving away from friends.
adjusting to a new place and new people.
trying to fit myself.
and what not!

just hope this year turns out fine. i am not even asking for "good" or "great"! i can deal with "fine". fingers crossed!