Wednesday, August 12, 2009

there are people less fortunate than me out there in the world. i may be wrong in calling them "less fortunate", but i know that there are people who do not have as many opportunities and as much support as i do. and i have been having this feeling within me for months to help the people in my own small way. i want to give something to them; something that will help them. there are always so many things one can do. there is always something one can give back to the society. and all i wanna do is contribute my bit to society.
i have been trying to find some NGO here in my city that works to educate people who have never had the opportunity to get a formal education. education, i feel, is one department in which i will be able to help out. to teach someone the alphabets and to read and write and what not- what could give you more joy than that!!! that, i think, will be a worthwhile experience.
all my life i have been way too consumed with myself and what i want. maybe it's time to change.
maybe it's time i give some meaning to my life. sometimes i think about how meaningless a life i lead and i start hating myself. i have lived for almost two decades in this world, but i have done nothing worth mentioning. i have done nothing for people; nothing that would give me any sort of personal satisfaction. and i have realised, however late it might be, that nothing will make me happy unless i add some meaning to my life. and i m trying to find that meaning somehow and i m ready to do anything in my search for it....

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

2nd august 2009


i don't know what life has in store for me... maybe i will know in a couple of days... there are some things you just can't control;things you don't have a say in... i don't know what to feel now.. i simply don't know.. things may be
bright.. or things may be gloomy... i will know soon... there's a part of me that's scared.. things may not be the same again... life may take on a different turn.. a turn that will affect me and everyone around...
the realisation that the worst can happen hit me really hard yesterday and made me break down; something that i hardly do... i know it's gonna be hard to face the worst that is possible... i am preparing myself to face it, but i know that when the time comes it will not be easy...
if the worst happens, then it is my fate... there will be nothing i can do to change it... nothing... the best i could do is to accept my fate, and live life to the fullest; live everyday like it is my last...
i know i need to be strong... need to muster up all the strength i have to not break down... i need to be tough... i have to be a fighter... i won't go down that easily... i will fight till the end.. n i will live my life better than i have ever lived...