deep inside me there are feelings i have chosen to hide..... tears left unshed.... words left unsaid.... emotions left unexpressed.... everyday i m fighting a battle... m battling to keep everything under control.... battling to keep a smile on my face..... m battling not to break down.... m battling not to give in.... cos i know i can't be weak now n give in.... some days are harder than the rest.... some days i just wanna quit being strong n give in.... somedays i just wanna break down.... sometimes i almost wanna hurt myself.... hurt myself n feel the pain,,,see some blood n know i m alive.... there are moments when i almost cry... moments when i freak out... moments when it gets to me... moments when i curse myself for having been such a fool... for having laid myself open to hurt.... there are times when i wish i could feel nothing.. wish i could be comfortably numb....
the hardest moments are when memories come flooding back... words start ringing in my mind... i wish i could erase those memories... i wish i could forget everything n start anew... but it's hard.. it's hard.. but i m trying (or am i??? )...wish i could somehow have the strength to start all over again.... wish things would be good again..... wish everything would be alright....
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