girl, interrupted

one thousand and one thoughts are running in my mind... i m restless n i m frustrated.. i m confused.. n i feel disoriented.. my head's heavy n i can't breathe.. emotions are running wild.. n i feel a nagging feeling that's tugging at me.. i open my books to study.. n my frustration shoots up..i try to close my eyes.. but it doesnt help.. i walk around the hostel.. it still doesn't get any better.. i m looking for ways to let it all out.. my anger, my frustration, my emotions... i m looking for something to calm me down... i m looking for something to make me feel better.. i hug my teddy tight.. i feel a little better... i try to close my eyes again.. i m still not okay.. so i open my laptop n sit down to write.. to write whatever i can.. though not good a writer i m.. i write only when my emotions border on the extreme... n tonight's one such night my emotiosn have gone haywire.. it's all a combination of exams n dis n dat n what not dat has made me feel this way.. totally uncontrollable... i haven't felt this way for long.. the last time being two n a half months back... n now everything's coming in full flow... it's been building up for days now.. been feeling it... n nw that it's here i m finding it a little hard to deal with... "stay quiet,stay calm,relax".. dats my mantra.. but hw do i make it work nw?? hw do i stay calm??? i know it's gonna stay there and nag me well until after the exams... m getting the exam blues.. n a bad one at dat.. n m gonna get the post-exam blues too.. that's for sure... i haven't prepared well for the exams... thus the blues now.. i won't do well in the exams.. thus the post-exam blues i predict... but is it just the exams that's making me feel this way?? perhaps not....there's more to it than the "exams"... can't put a finger on it.. but the feeling lingers..this nagging, troubling, irritating feeling... this feeling i can't name.. a nameless phantom... i m tired.. i m about to fall... but m still hanging on.... hanging on to my sanity n my dreams... because i know that this too shall pass... suddenly i realise i m hungry.. so i open this packet of potato chips(blue lays.. my fav..).. n then a thought strikes me..(why didn't i think about it before??).. eating may perhaps be the best solution for my infliction... (i m already feeling better.. :))...so ya i m off to try out this option... chips, chocolates, biscuits n noodles are waiting for me... what is more worth doing than eating?? (of course i like to eat... i really do..)... next time i blog i will be chirpy n happy.. (i hope..).. but no guarantees on that.. i don't trust myself.. ;).. fingers crossed....